I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
