You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
