best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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