the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
