Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
