You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
