If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize