And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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