If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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