Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
