Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
is it fun? or sober?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
