She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I stole a fireplace last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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