put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
