no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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