some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
third nipple confirmed
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
