So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That's intense
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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