whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
