Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize