you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
