we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize