wat bout pragnant strippers??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize