So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So apparently I’m into choking now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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