Where is the hickey?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
