Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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