I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
