Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
