you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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