My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
