You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
