may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
