Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
