all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
