he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
