I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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