You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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