Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
