whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
