people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
