U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
