just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
