it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Text me some of your sweat
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
