i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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