I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize