You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
