I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
