Me too!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
