bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His nipple licking is glorious
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