Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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