Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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