She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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