Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize