I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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