you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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