hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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