Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
