we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
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They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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