She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
