and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
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Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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