he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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